Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy National Flop Day!!!

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"The five uptempo tracks that would have been Kingdom of Dance" are uneven, exemplified by the hobbling flop that is "Love Sex Magic", an easily unforgettable Justin Timberlake collaboration, and "Work", an over-stuffed dancefloor mess that does not benefit from Missy Elliot's hoarse hectoring. "

Music Review: Ciara's Fantasy Ride needs more gas

By MESFIN FEKADU, Associated Press Writer – Tue May 5, 11:39 am ET
Ciara, "Fantasy Ride" (Jive Label Group)
Ciara's latest album has all the right elements: good producers, catchy hooks and beats that bump with dance, pop and R&B flavors. But for some reason, "Fantasy Ride" isn't as fun as the title suggests.
The 13-track set is mediocre at best,
though it boasts production work by Polow Da Don, Danja, Dr. Luke and The-Dream, and has guest appearances from Chris Brown and Ludacris.
It's not that the songs on the CD sound bad — tracks like "Ciara to the Stage" and "Tell Me What Your Name Is" show the singer at the top of her game. But the majority of the disc sounds just like what we've heard from the 23-year-old sensation before — and that's not fulfilling.
The energy-charged "Work" featuring Missy Elliott sounds just like the 2005 hit "Lose Control," Elliott's song on which Ciara appeared. Most of the other tunes — "Like a Surgeon," "Pucker Up" and "Never Ever," for example — are enjoyable but show she hasn't grown much as a singer since her last release.
Ciara shines, however, on the Janet Jackson-esque "Love, Sex, Magic" with Justin Timberlake and on "Keep Dancin' On Me."
With her 2004 debut CD "Goodies" and 2006's "The Evolution," Ciara had lots of hits but few songs that stood the test of time; "Fantasy Ride" is no different.
CHECK THIS TRACK OUT: "Ciara to the Stage," the CD's opening track, is so seductive you'll be calling and screaming Ciara to the stage. In your fantasy of course.

'Fantasy Ride' by Ciara


It never was much of a compliment, but Ciara used to be called the Princess of Crunk. This was back when she was a teenage R&B star, working with Lil Jon and cranking out hits like "Goodies." After an '06 sophomore outing that toyed with electro jams, Ciara spent ages in record-label purgatory before releasing the new, years-in-the-leaking "Fantasy Ride."

Ciara has a reedy, agile voice, capable of conveying the only three emotions (sexy, sassy, sad) an R&B singer needs. But she's too anonymous a personality to make herself heard over the disc's steady stream of hammy guest stars (Ludacris, Young Jeezy, Chris Brown) and overbearing producers (Danja, Dr. Luke), all of whom bring the most lukewarm vocals, sound effects and beats that early 2008 had to offer.

"Fantasy Ride" is a perfectly respectable, if not enthralling, collection of standard club bangers and slow jams that feel like an assortment of tracks Rihanna and Beyoncé didn't want. There are a few notable exceptions: Justin Timberlake does his usual futuristic smolder-y thing on "Love Sex Magic," which sounds like the best version of all the songs that sound just like it; and "Never Ever" does a nice job of sampling/interpolating Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes' "If You Don't Know Me by Now."

But the best that can be said about The-Dream's gooey "Like a Surgeon" ("My love's like anesthesia/I'll rock you fast asleep") is that it's probably not terrible on purpose. And the mid-tempo crunk-pop track "High Price" ("I should be in Iraq, shawty, 'cause I am the bomb/I got a million-dollar house on my earlobe") may set a record for most inappropriate utterances in a single verse.
"I may not be bourgeois, but I'm a divaaa"
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As is implied and emphatically stated, this blog is in regards to the lack of talent and all that is the boring cloned puppet rihanna. If it upsets you...... TOUGH...... jaw juggle some ballz bitchez. :-) feel free to comment