Thursday, October 4, 2007

WHY I THINK RIYONCE SUCKS

I don't hate Rihanna, but I do dislike her tremendously. It's not her fault, I know, but she is just as culpable as her puppet masters. Every time I see her perform, she sounds awful and looks like a different celebrity. For the past 2 1/2 years she has been groomed to become the "next" Beyonce, hence earning her the name RIYONCE. From the hair, to the clothes, to the videos, it was never ending.

Finally we got a break when she transformed into POSH SPICE with her new do. The kudos she received for being a style maverick was laughable. Had they not seen Posh lately? Did they not notice the exact hairstyle? Next was the whole Good Girl Gone Bad routine. Come on now?! Who really believed this? You can't tell me that she's grown as an artist and is coming into herself with her music, when she didn't write 1 song, 1 syllable, 1 note on the entire album. She's manufactured plain and simple.

Next she rips off Pink's rock star style and infuses it with Madonna's edgy trend-setting couture. How is this not obvious? Well, apparently it is to some, since her album IS BARELY PAST GOLD AFTER 20 WEEKS ON THE CHARTS.

Here's my beef.... Why are people comparing Riyonce to her momma Beyonce? How can anyone say, with a straight face, that she will be taking over Bey's spot (presumably at the top) due to ONE song. And why is it that her albums receive critical acclaim yet, no one appears to be buying them? And why can't you find, on the whole world wide web, a review of one of her shows? There's footage everywhere of her performing live, yet there are no critics willing to put their money where their mouths are. They can tell me to buy the album because it is sooo good, yet they can't tell me how her performance was? Don't you find that ODD?

I did. That's why I went to see her perform live out in NY. Po' baby. She looked confused and her dancers looked bored during the routines. I'm not even sure if they were professional dancers or just Tee Tee n 'em from 'round da way. Her voice isn't as terrible as I thought it was, but it was awful. It has nothing to do with her whining, I love me some Keith Sweat and lawwwd knows that man can whine/sing like no other! So what exactly is it? It's not the accent, cause I love me some Reggae music and have danced from dusk til dawn in packed cramped after-hours joints. It's more like the fact that she sings off key, pitchy, whiny and nasally all at once. I wanted to give her a breathe right nose strip or something. The worse part is when she attempts to dance. No No No Riyonce, don't dance! Just do like your videos and rub on yaself the entire time.

What I've noticed is that most of the attendees were 30ish to 40ish men. Cat calling when she bent over ( she does this a lot), and howling when she attempts to "booty pop". I don't believe she has the right audience to garner massive record sells. They will pay the $35.00 cover charge to a club but I doubt if they will pay $100's of dollars to watch her "nose" sing and bend over for two hours, or pay $20 for an album.

Therein lies the difference between Rihanna and Beyonce. There's no need to go into Ms. Knowles performance status because it is well documented. Even if you have never been to a Destiny's Child or Beyonce concert, you have witnessed the performances and/or read about them from numerous critics/blogs/news outlets/radio shows, etc. To say that they are equally entertaining is what I would call hatin' on Beyonce. To say that Beyonce is over the top, is a valid criticism. I for one like over the top. I like the outta control hair and stilettos and dramatic wardrobe. None of which take away from the fact that she can actually sing. Add to that, is she can sing while dancing. Rarely taking a break, yet sounding just as good on the last note as she did on the 1st.

Me being the person that I am, got into a month long debate with an acquaintance I met here in blog land in regards to Lil Ms Sunshine. I then decided that I could SHOW him better than I could TELL him why RIYONCE SUCKS. I have collected produced contributed to and/or edited quite a bit of performance footage from these two. I also got a push in the right direction from my good friends over at YouTube. SHOUT OUT TO AMEAGLE, ALINALSSORAD, AND VICTORIA!

Take the time to review some of the footage I've amassed. If you don't care for either of them, there's really no point. But if you like them both or just one of them, ENJOY!

2 comments:

  1. just call me daddyOctober 28, 2007 at 6:11 PM

    Excellent!!! Now write one on 50 cent! haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL JAW JUGGLE SOME BALLZ?? WELL DAMN I JUST WANTED TO COMMENT. I THINK U SUMD IT UP NICELY THO

    ReplyDelete

As is implied and emphatically stated, this blog is in regards to the lack of talent and all that is the boring cloned puppet rihanna. If it upsets you...... TOUGH...... jaw juggle some ballz bitchez. :-) feel free to comment